I think that there isn't much clarity on what we mean when we try to differentiate worship styles.  I spent my youth in a very traditional LCMS church where we did the liturgy out of the front of the hymal every week.  I found it to be beautiful, if I thought much about it at all.  It's what we did, and I was just a kid, so there wasn't a lot of deep thinking about it.  In college I became part of an LCMS campus ministry that never used the hymnal, let alone the liturgy out of a hymnal.  Each week was a custom-designed liturgy, much of the time.  The basic flow and content was the traditional liturgy, but the wording was all different each week.  We would also utilize special liturgies from time to time.  One newer attender talked about one of the liturgies we used as being "Jesus the Musical".  It was an apt description since we sang pretty much the entire content of the service - not just the actual songs.

Various congregations talk about whether their worship is traditional or contemporary.  Most of the time, what I think this really means is what sort of songs do we sing.  I've not met a Lutheran congregation that insists that it wants to jettison the liturgical elements or flow of the traditional worship format.  Most folks talk in terms of whether or not they like the classic hymns or prefer newer (and more singable) music, or a mixture of the two.  

I like the aforementioned link because it describes the heart of the difference between how 'big box' churches do things and how more traditional groups (Lutherans, Catholics, etc.) do things.  And that difference is not what sort of music is played or whether the spoken bits are in the King's English or modern English, but what is actually happening in worship.  

More specifically than what the linked essay speaks to, the core difference is a matter of whether the focus is on us as the gathered, or God as the gatherer.  Are we there to give praise to God for what He has already done or we hope that He will do in our lives, or are we there to actually receive the gifts of God right there in worship?  Is worship a monologue where we talk about how great God is and devote ourselves to showing him how earnest we are to become better Christians, or is it a dialogue where we speak only in response to God speaking, and the emphasis is on God's great goodness and grace despite our inability to be the better Christians we know we ought to be?  

Understanding what it is that is happening is the first step to better understanding what our role is in expressing preferences.  It takes the discussion beyond just the issue of do I prefer this style of music or the pastor's mode of dress.  And in doing so, it makes the issue less about us as individuals and more as the collected and gathered people of God.   At that point, it hopefully draws us together in discussion rather than pushing us apart in a constant search for the church and worship that is just like us.