Who do you let your young children play with?  On what grounds would you demand that your young child quit playing with another child - at least in terms of out-of-school play dates?

Some people apparently aren't comfortable letting their young children play with children who are not part of an actively Christian family.

This is interesting to me on several levels.  As a parent, I have young children that I am entrusted with for the purpose of raising them to be responsible Christian adults.  As a pastor, I'm intent on helping people live their faith out in all aspects of their lives, not simply on Sunday mornings.  As someone interested in community, I'm interested in what people will do in order to be accepted - and conversely, what people expect from others to accept them.

As a parent, this issue of demanding faith as a ticket for socialization seems rather severe.  We dialog with our children (ages almost-eight, five, and almost-four) about our faith every day.  We spend time learning Bible stories.  Our oldest reads these stories on his own with Arch Books.  They're currently memorizing the Ten Commandments.  We relate our faith to the decisions we make, the attitudes we hold, and the way we live our lives in every way we can think of.  As such, I'm not worried about my young children associating with children of different (or no) faith.  I hope for it, because I know my children are sure enough in their age-appropriate understanding of their faith that meeting someone who believes differently will not destroy my children's faith, but will rather serve as a discussion topic at home.  It's an opportunity for us all to learn better how to not fear other people's beliefs, but see opportunities for sharing our beliefs. 

As a pastor, it's disappointing to think that people are shunning their neighbors because they don't believe the same things.  These are precisely the people that we ought to be grateful for opportunities to hang out with.  If we really understand the core of our faith, we realize that these are opportunities for us to love these people and to share our beliefs, just as much as it might be a time for them to share their beliefs.  I want my people to be equipped to seek out these opportunities rather than run from them.  We have such an amazing message, such powerful Truth!  Why do we automatically assume that it can't stand up against someone with doubts or denials?  Why would we choose to live in fear - hurting other people in the process - instead of proactively strengthening our faith and understanding in ourselves and our children so that they can share with their friends?  Why would Jesus be the pretext for refusing to love someone else, rather than a driving motivation to show them love?

Culturally speaking, there are certainly boundaries that can't be crossed if we expect to relate to others in a healthy way.  People who flaunt core values of our culture (Christian or otherwise) are not folks that we necessarily ought to be having our kids hang around.  Some boundaries are healthy.  We rightly protect our children from those who blatantly flaunt the law - engaging in illicit or illegal behavior such as drug use, theft, etc.  We also need to protect our children appropriately from those who have discarded notions of propriety and decency - those who insist on swearing and cursing around children, and those who engage in behaviors that are unhealthy or dangerous, such as excessive drinking around children, violent behavior, etc. 

These people still need and warrant our love, mind you.  The decision not to expose our children to a potentially dangerous situation or person is different from our Christian imperative to seek the lost and to love even those most difficult or resistant to love.  And we need to keep teaching our children about those who engage in behaviors that are inappropriate for children to be exposed to (or adults to be exposed to, for that matter!).  We need to keep preparing our children because  at some point in their lives, they're going to be making their own choices about who to befriend, who to hang out with, and who to emulate.  They need to have some good, wise counsel to guide those decisions, and that counsel starts as young as possible.