It's frustrating to come face to face with the assumptions and presuppositions that one is raised with and has internalized.  As much as we like to think of ourselves as free agents, picking and choosing what we want to believe and feel and do, we are amazingly scripted people, children of routines we aren't even consciously aware of.

Which kinda bites.

I'm attempting to create a new worship opportunity.  New to our church, not new to existence.  But getting away from the modern focus on professionalism and performers and worship leaders.  Trying to get away from a culture that ends up too often (in my opinion) stifling worship in the people it hopes to elicit that worship from.  If someone can't sing like a pro, or can't play a guitar like a pro, then that person sits back during worship in awe of the person who can sing or can play like a pro.  The worship becomes less the worship of God, and more the worship of those with the skills - and thus the visibility within a worship service - to perform like professionals. 

How to break that artificial dichotomy though, is harder than it seems, since to a certain extent this is the model I've been exposed to for portions of my life.  I live with that adulation of those who can sing and play well, which highlights my own inferiority in these areas and makes me sing quieter, or hold back on joining in on playing music.

But I want - and I feel it's important - to create a worship expectation not emphasizing professionalism, but inclusiveness.  Something that everybody is welcome to come into and contribute what they can.  It may not be perfect.  But is it heartfelt?  Is it a response to the outpouring of grace and forgiveness we receive through Jesus Christ?  Awesome.  Then jump in. 

The problem is, I've tried to 'practice' doing this.  Which means my emphasis has been on improving my skills and confidence in playing and singing, rather than modeling what it is that I hope others will do when and if they come. 

D'oh!

Such creatures of habit we are!